Looking Forward to the New Year

This past week has been to hell in a handbag. I got sick, my sister got sick, my friends house was burglarized - good thing it only comes in threes as I don't know if I could handle another. Well, I still think my band may have slipped a bit. I go to the Dr's on the 2nd. I am finally getting over this icky belly feeling (it's only been 6 days) and starting to ween my self from the beloved BRAT diet. I got rid of all the wonderful cookie presents from my friends - I'm so tired of looking at them - I think the sight of them was making me ill. I was good and had only 2 cookies this whole season. I can not wait to get to the gym on Monday, I really need it my 30 minute lunchtime workout isn't doing enough for me. But this morning on the scale I was at 197. Also I was so excited yesterday I actually fit into a large sweatshirt, I haven't seen that since I was 4 months pregnant 10 years ago. I was so happy. It' s the "little" things in life that make us go ahhhh! Well, all is well my spirits are up. Thanks for listening to me.... 2009 is only a little over 4 days away, and I have decided that this is going to be my year. ALL ABOUT ME!!!! My daughter happiness relies on ME, my health relies on ME, and my family needs ME. It is funny how life all revolves around me - I need my family to, but again it's all ME ME ME. This year my goal is to get down to within 1 size of my goal and be fit and tone at the same time . Lets see if I can do it!!!!!!

Exercise

Exercise is the most important ingredient of health! These are some tips that I use now. Use stairs when available. Park further away from the door each day. Use a pedometer and aim for 3000 steps a day, then when you make that goal, try adding an additional 50 steps each day afterward. If you bought the gym membership - use it, most come with a couple complimentary visits with a personal trainer - I took the next step and started paying for one. That has helped me a lot. My arms are finally losing their granny figure. I am so excited. Most importantly try to walk at least 2 fifteen minute intervals each day. If you get a lunch break a work walk the block, do the stairs in the stair well, have a gym at work use it, find something to do rather that sit on the rump of yours - it's your life, what are you going to do? I know what I did. I put me first!!!!!!

Chirstmas Day

Hello everyone now that I am caught up to date, I am hoping to post day to day concerns, questions, thoughts, or ideas. Something that may be catchy. Today is Christmas and I am starting to feel better after being laid up the first half of the week. I called Cooperstown yesterday and spoke to the wonder Mr. Bob to ask him if I was alright. After being sick the area of my port was a bit tender - he assured me that it was probably from bending over the toilet, or just the way I was sitting and putting a bit of pressure there. I was thankful for that. I can't wait to next friday Jan 2. I go back and see the office and I am hopeful for my first fill. All is well I stepped on the scale today and weighed in at 196. I haven't seen this weight since I was 7 months pregnant. 10 years ago. I also finally fit in to a Large sweatshirt - not an XL or a 2XL! This is a milestone and so far all appears to be going okay. Family is good, my daughter is wonderful - she keeps me on my toes: mom you are eating to fast; mom slow down; mom, can you have that? She is my support. She knows once I lose enough weight we will have the vacation of our dreams. Until then - we just have to keep melting away - pound by pound.

Stomach Bug

Uh-Oh! I was just recently sick for 15 hours of not being able to keep anything in anywhere. I spent the night up and down - hot and cold! I was so worried because with the surgery you aren't supposed to throw-up, it can cause slippage of the band. I was so nervous, when I started to feel a little better I made Kenny drive me to Cooperstown to the ER that way if there was a problem, I was already there. They say there doesn't appear to be any trouble and that the band is okay. They drew some blood gave me an IV made sure I didn't get sick and sent me home. I was down for 2 days feeling blah, what a way to enjoy the holidays.

Pureed to solid foods

Well I finally made it 3wks and 4 days out of surgery. Going to see Dr. H today, I can't wait. I am feeling really hungry between meals. I am relying a lot on my milk to get me through the day. I am afraid of turning back to the food and starting the bad habits all over again, only if people understood what I am going through, maybe they'd stop offering me the darn pizza, or chips, can't some one say "hey, I have a carrot would you like one?" I'm tired of the chocolate, pie, cakes, cookies. It is sure going to get harder before this year closes out in a few weeks. Well, I saw Dr. H he says I'm doing well I can go on solid foods now (truth be told my pureed has been getting a lot thicker this past week). All is well, I get to see Bob in just over two weeks for my first fill if all is well. (Let's keep praying) - Thanks WLS family again for all the hugs and support!

First follow up appointment

I made it to my first follow up appointment (12 days out). Like cake work. Following the diet, not hungry, feeling good - occassionally feeling like I may have over done it. The Dr. says I look wonderful, doing great to keep up the good work. And I had already lost 8 lbs. Most of the weight is from being on liquids only at this time, I was also advised after starting pureed foods within the next week and a half that the weight loss will start to slow down. Wow - what relief, all is okay so far! Let's keep praying! And I want to thank my WLS family for all their support, tips, and ideas.

The days after.

The first 2 weeks following surgery were easy. It was all liquids, and that didn't really bother me. What bothered me was the "gas" pain they call it in the shoulder area. That was horrible at times. I finally had my first BM about 4 days after surgery, that made me feel a lot better. After the first two weeks I graduated to pureed food, by mid week, I was getting real hungry between meals, trying to be good was getting harder - so I compromised. I had pureed foods but I was making the pureed thicker and thicker so there was actually pieces of food to eat with it. That is what held me over I think. Every now and then my belly feels off so I have found that a glass of milk has been my wonder cure. I'm not sure why, but it works awesome. Three weeks and 3 days later I finally make it to solid foods, this was wonderful. Until about 2 or 3 days ago. Now I am extremely hungry between meals, all my tricks aren't working - so I have relied on a fruity whip. I take some fruit and mix it with a tub of sugar free coolwhip and some jello and snack on that. That will help occasionally but it's not working all the time. I see Bob in 9 days I am hoping for a fill. In the meantime - since April I have lost 50 pounds as of Saturday morning. I have gained 2 pounds back. I really don't like to see the numbers climb - but....

Surgery

Wow, I've made it - a long and hard and very dedicated journey so far! I just keep wondering what the future will bring me. I was at the hospital by 815am. I was registered and in the waiting room. I got called down to the pre-op prep area by 833. I sat there for a few minutes then I was pestered by the staff, need a bracelet, any allergies, why are you here, I need to do this IV. The IV- let me share with you this. The IV was unsuccessful. I got poke 8 times before they put an IV in my foot to take me to surgery. Once I was out I woke up with an IV in my knuckle, and 9 more holes where they attempted to do an IV. I don't remember anything after they put the meds in the IV site - I woke up in recovery I was there for about 2 hours (that is their sleep apnea protocol). I was in my room about 330 in the afternoon. My family stayed for a bit - I was feeling well and sent them home to tend to other family members about an hour or so later. Within 30 minutes of them being gone I was up doing laps around the floor. Was feeling really good, ready to go home - but I had to stay the night (again sleep apnea protocol). I had to go for the swallow study before they would let me take anything - I was in my room maybe 15 minutes before they took me down to do that - that was quick and easy! The nursing staff was real good to me. It didn't appear as I was bothering them when I needed something. It made me feel like a patient and not a hindrance. I was greatful for that.

The week before surgery

Here we are - the day after the date was good. Thursday - I drove to Oneonta, met with the staff doing my physical I was there 15 minutes early. I was actually walking out of that appointment - prior to the office opening for the day. Friday - went shopping picked up "liquid foods" - yummm yummm Sat & Sun - Cleaned the house Monday - met with the surgeon, out to dinner "my last meal" At this time I have cut out soda and all carbonated beverages for almost a year!

The phone call - I have a date!!!!!

At work the open enrollment for our Insuarance was coming up and we had two weeks to change. So I called the Center and spoke to the wonderful Christine on November 5th and explained to her my battle with the insurance company. I needed a tentative date so they could submit it to my insurance carrier for authorization prior to the end of our open enrollment. I hung up with her and within 3 hours, I got a phone call from the scheduling clerk and gave me a surgery date of the 11th. My first thought was overjoyed - I finally did it, so I jumped at the opportunitiy. This left me with 3 appointments and we were already midday Wednesday. I had to go do a pre-surgical screening physical with the clinic, I was able to get squeezed in the next day. Then I had to meet the surgeon on Monday - a day he usually doesn't see his patients. But I made it. I was so overwhelmed and so happy at the same time. I shared all the with my family that day - they were scared, and started asking lots of questions, that I haven't really answered for them yet. But all is well, they were just concerned for my welfare.

The battle with my insurance company

My insurance company is a PITA - as all insurance companies are. When I first called to see if the service was covered I was told yes, so as time passed I called to see if I could get it in writing - I was told that I was never advised that insurance would cover it - sooo- back to square one fighting with the insurance. Got no where with RMSCO, so I called risk mngmt. Same story it wouldn't be covered even if it was deemed medically necessary. I was about to throw in the towel. I got so upset, and let it work me to the gym. I started working on it again from the beginning. I finally decided to go higher up the ladder. The insurance company said no, risk mngmt said no, I wanted a supervisor, the supervisor also said no, so I called the County and spoke to the man who has final authorization. I kicked and screamed, and vented, and finally had a discussion with him, in the end he was a very nice person - gave me all the information I needed to give to my physician so it could be covered. Insurance took about 3 months to get on the wagon to cover my procedure. I was happy!!!!

The road to surgery

The first step was filling out all those annoying questionnaires and mailing them back to Chris at the hospital. After filling them out and mailing it back in, I was required to attend 3 different support groups. The first was okay that was just a general meeting for all those looking into surgery lots of questions were asked and I was fed more answers (information) by every one's questions. The second meeting was a New Patient Orientation - that was extremely information one of the Dr's came in and did a huge presentation - that was good! Then I had to attend another one that was surgery type specific. That too was very interesting - more learned mostly the what not to dos. So I got them done and out of the way - thinking what the heck? Is all this going to be worth it? Of course it was, it was going to HELP give me my life back. I finally got the call (my appointement to see Bob). Finally, my first offical weigh in. Wow, I was kinda shocked that I had already lost weight - I was down to 223. This appointment was in July. Oh no! I am supposed to be going on vacation in August - I remember thinking maybe this is not the right time - but it was my life I was talking about. I wanted to live a healthier one. I had 8 weeks to lose 11 pounds - and make all these appointments. I had to have some blood work, an EKG, see the dietician, see the psychologist, meet the surgeon, and luckily I already had a sleep study done. Again, my mind was spinning - I didn't know which way to go! Well I got all the appointments done within 8 weeks. I met Bob with my follow up and finally made the weight goal - Oh yeah, vacation too! So Bob put me on the list - I was a good canidate for the procedure! YES - I was doing the happy dance. Now, I was just waiting for a call to schedule my surgery!

My decision

My decision didn't come easy. I knew after about 2 years of research that this was the option for me. I called several different bariatric clinics, I called Rochester, Albany, Scranton, Syracuse, and Cooperstown. In Rochester, I was never able to get a hold of anyone - no one would return my calls or send me info. Albany - the staff that I talked to on the phone I found very rude to me - so nope not there either. Scranton - the receptionist was friendly, the nurse of physican I spoke to didn't seem to have the time - so I ruled them out as well. Syracuse - again I was talking to a brick wall - they just didn't seem to care about the patients. I decided okay I guess this just isn't going to happen right away. I finally called Cooperstown by the request of one friends I was talking to, and when I did I spoke to this lady by the name of Chris - she was fabulous! She was friendly, nice, asked me questions, and sent me a large packet of information with everything I needed and wanted to know that the others just weren't willing to give to me over the phone. The packet included a health information, meeting dates, phone numbers, how they screened their patients - I was amazed there was just so much of it. I finally found piece and took the next step.

Researching Medical Options

In 2006, I started researching alternatives to help me lose weight. I talked to friends with the same problem as I. I was researching the gastric bypass, this New thing called a LAP-Band, partial by-pass. I thought "oh my, there are going to rip the stomach open and do what?" , nope that wasn't for me either. Oh well, I guess I was just meant to be fat. So I did more research and more research. This lady I know from a co-worker had the gastric by-pass done in 2001, she dropped 160 lbs in a year. Wow, I was amazed, but what I wasn't amazed at was the fact she couldn't eat anything. If she had certain foods she got sick. About 4 years after she had the surgery she started to gain her weight back. So I was dumb-founded, I didn't know what to do. I knew I had to do something if I wanted to stop the weight here, and live to see my daughter grow up, graduate from elementary school , high school, college, and eventually get married. I started to investigate the Lap-Band even more, I wrote to the company, read all about it at the library, and on-line. I finally said this is what I am going to do.

The fad diets are knocking at my door

I'm tired of being fat. I'm tired of being hungry. I'm tired of feeling blah - all the time! I signed up for LA Weight Loss - I figured what the heck it can't hurt. It started well I lost about 15 lbs - then I hit a plateau and no more weight came off, I got upset and gave up! Two months later I enrolled in classes at the college, was loving life - met a good friend and we decided to do weight watchers together - that lasted a few months - then my work schedule changed and I couldn't make the meetings. Now I am 210-215, I tried the Atkins, Calorie Counting, portion control, I tried a nutritionist, LA Weight Loss again, Hydroxy-Cut, Slim Fast - you name it I tried it. I cried I was fat and I felt like I was going to die before my daughter reached 13. Nothing worked. I fought this battle for 6 years with my weight flexing between 185 - 215.

Weight after my pregnancy

My daughter came in April, just as stubborn as her father. She was 9wks an 3 days early. I was depressed she was coming home to a broken house. I was living with my mom trying to get back on my feet, still working nights. We were getting ready for a consolidation at work. I went back to work after my daughter had only been home 2 weeks. She spent the first 5 weeks and 3 days in the NICU as she was so premature, luckily there were no complications once she was born! I was so scared - I ate even more! After I had her, I had lost 11 pounds - still on nights, consolidation 2 weeks away going to 12 hour shifts. I needed a place of my own had to get out of my mom's house - 2 families under one roof - a horrible idea. I found an apartment on the other side of town 20 minutes from mom's house. I thought cool, the baby is here she is healthy- have my own place - I can start getting back in shape and shredding some pounds. I found a walking buddy that lasted almost three months the weather turned cold - she found a new boyfriend - and I hated walking alone. I dropped to 180lbs while walking daily. Consolidation happened my frequent 16 hour work days now turned in to regular 12 hour shifts - I'm still a single mom, 12 hours I had to do something find daycare, ask her father to become more involved - I was regretting it all.

Sliding into my depression and the upward spiral of the scale.

In 1998 I got pregnant - I had split up with my daughters father when I was three months along and became very depressed. I had also just started a new desk job working nights. So there I was pregnant, alone, and working nights. My daily schedule consisted of sleeping from 730am - 4pm, (sometimes waking up earlier to go to my appointments) waking up and taking a shower, eating dinner about 530 - then visiting with my family until 9pm when I would have to leave to go to work. This continued throughout my whole pregnancy. Oh, did I mention I was the lowest on the totem pole at work also? So that meant 16 hour work days at least 2-3 times a week. Where I worked it was very dark and dirty not healthy at all. My babies due date was June 10th, I had started my job in August. During this time I also became more angry at the father for being a jerk - I felt used and abused! He had a new girlfriend, when we found out I was pregnant - and of course the baby couldn't possibly be his - he was ready to move on! So he begged me to terminate the pregnancy. I couldn't and wouldn't do it. So the depression started to settle in. At the time I became pregnant I was weighing about 140. At the end of the pregnancy I was at 211. How gross and sick was that.